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Since I last posted Matt, Tina, and I have moved into the new apartment which is in the same complex as the old one but the new one is much larger and I have my own room, my own bathroom, huge closet, etc. So all is as it should be in that respect. I have yet to go back to Fontana to bring my bed back this way but I need a truck to do it so I will enlist the help of my aunt when she decides to pick up her phone and call me back in good time.

Still working for Securitas in Laguna Sur. Its easy. My work days consist of me issueing passes, denying people access etc. The majority of my time is spent reading, writing, and listening to Nile or some other form of metal on the small CD player in the guardhouse. Matt made the comparison that my job is alot like his and Jeremy's, in the sense that I just fuck around doing whatever I want during my shift, except I get paid less to do it. After my probation is up I will probably seek a transfer to a better paying homeowner's association, I only took the post at Laguna Sur because it had a set 40 hours a week, and was close. So it just worked.

Leah and I are doing great. Were what some would call "official" now, although she said that we had been "official" ever since she told me that she wanted to be exclusive. I told her that I suppose I am a stickler for formalities, and having said that I more or less said "Since we more or less going out in your mind, would it be okay for me to ask you then"? She laughed.

This weekend Im spending the weekend with her. We got Terminator planned for Saturday, and were gonna take her kids to see Night at the Museum on Sunday, and then were going to have a bonfire at the beach next weekend with ourselves and a couple of her friends.

Other than that theres not much else going on.

My California ID finally came but unfortunately it was sent to Fontana even though I had written down my new RSM address, given it to the guy that was doing the ID pictures and told him to change it, he said he did, obviously this was not the case. At least now, with an ID I can open up a fucking bank account instead of toting wads of cash around which feels great in my pocket but is also a major source of my constant paranoia.
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  • I have a job now. I work for Securitas Security USA. Its fulltime, 40hours a week, permanent position. Applied last week. Interviewed Monday. Hired that day. Trained all week and had my first training day on-post in Laguna Sur. I am doing security at a homeowners association. Its pretty laid back . Beautiful area. Rich people. You get the idea. I have a 120 day probationary period, after which comes a raise. I also have the option of moving to various locations that pay more and work in different security capacities which is kool.
  • Living in Rancho Santa Margarita with Matt and Tina. Were planning on moving into another apartment. Waiting for things to come together. Tina is also waiting on another job. Not sure if we would be staying in the same apartments or moving elsewhere.
  • I actually like taking the bus to all these weird and wonderful places and completely zoning out while in route. One of these days when Im not working and have a little extra cash in my pocket I want to just take the bus to I dont even know where. Maybe out by the beach. I havent decided.
  • Been talking to some gal for over a month now. I like her a bunch but am hesitant for a number of reasons. Shes 32. Thats not bad. I love me some older women. She has 3 kids. Shes single. Lives in Yorba Linda. Shes very smart, sarcastic,beautiful. Were doing that whole just friends, see where it goes, if we hook up when we get together then kool, if not thats fine too sort of thing. She thinks Im hilarious and cute. So I like that. 
  • Wrote something a bit ago. It was a letter to someone I had been talking to who I dont want to name. Anyways, it was a letter to them about some stuff that I had been dealing with. Planning on posting it as a facebook note because it was really cathartic for me when I wrote it.
other than that, not alot is new.
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If you discovered a new planet, what would you name it?

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If you were ordered to become a prison guard for alleged terrorists and live at Guantanamo, what would you find most difficult about your job?
Resisting the urge to have a God complex and make their lives more miserable than they already are. Hey, I never said I take the high road on anything. I am petty, cruel, and vindictive.

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You're packing your bag for that other desert island—the one with no electricity—what 5 books do you take with you?
Call of Cthulu by H.P. Lovecraft.
    I would need something to scare me away from the water surrounding the island. I would always keep a watchful eye on the shore for Cthulu who might just rise up from the abysmal deep. I have Lovecraft to thank for my ponderings, ponderings that frequently find me contemplating the abyss, infinity, absurdity, and horror.

Eyescream by Henry Rollins.
   Henry Rollins is someone I need to just tell me how it is like a man. No flowery language. No lyrical content. Just the truth laid out like a canvas for me to take in. Henry would make me realize that,  if I take the probability of being found on a desert island into account, I am probably screwed.

The Stranger by Albert Camus.
   This short story has always helped me because it taught me acceptance. It taught me that when there is only one option you simply have to learn to live with it.  It also forced me to think about the absurdity that can be found in many aspects of life.

Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
   Much of my life has involved Uncle Dolf in one manner or another. It's only fitting that I should spend my last days reading about an idea that seemed almost doomed to fail but almost succeeded which, in a sense, would probably speak volumes about whatever current escape plan I might try to hatch in a vain attempt to survive.

The Bible
   I would need something to wipe my ass with.

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Im tired. My body feels beat up and sore from lifting really heavy all week long. I usually go for a moderate rep range but Ive been trying to up the ante when I work out. Muscles will not grow to respectable size without being put under a fair, sometimes extreme, amount of stress. I just feel sort of out of it at the moment.

Learned that the owner of Golds Gym, Rancho Santa Margarita is a nationals level bodybuilder. His name is Tamer El-Guindy and I saw him on some Xenadrine RFA ads before I actually met him. It was great having the opportunity to speak to him and is an all-around nice guy it seems. I applied at Gold's RSM and if I get hired I will probably head back out to RSM, but with Matt this time. I have just always wanted the opportunity to be able to work closely with a competitor because there is so much I can learn from them in a training/nutrition/supplemention/serious supplementation sense. His wife is also a figure competitor who turned IFBB pro. Shes from the Ukraine, has a great accent, and is just beautiful.

Not much is all that new. Spent the week in RSM. Had a good time hanging out with Matt and Tina, going to the gym, putting in various applications, some of which I have to do online because everyone seems to take applications online anymore.

Hung out with Matt and Travis last night. Watched 3 kung fun movies, all of which were hilarious.
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What's the story behind your username?
I grabbed that name partly because of a Blood Has Been Shed song titled Greetings From The Gallows and partly because of the last scene in Albert Camus' The Stranger [although I think Meursault was beheaded, I cannot recall]. Either way, there was this powerful scene where Meursault was walking to his execution with complete peace of mind, it was just such a great scene.

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If you had to give up one indulgence for 40 days, what would it be?
Well, I think that I am already doing that. That indulgence being Alcohol, or as my colleague Peter Griffin's Irish father would call it ..."The Creature."


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Still sober. Hung out with my buddy Sean [my Rancho Santa Margarita bartender buddy] and we went to a get together. I told him that I got sober and he was extremely supportive. There was that little bit inside of me that did want to have just a beer and Sean pretty much said "When you have one beer, sobriety is all over" which made alot of sense and Im glad that I spent the evening eating tons of tri-tip steak which was some of the best I have ever tasted.

Went to the gym earlier in the day yesterday. Close to a personal goal of mine. I was pyramiding weight on the bench, starting with 225lbs and I got all the way up to a 1-rep of 295lbs, which makes me think that next time on chest day, if I just do a really light warm up and head straight into really heavy shit I might be able to finally hit 310 lbs [3 plates on each side]. Its not that heavy compared to what alot of guys lift but its great for me because I dont lift for strength, but for muscle.

Lost 7 lbs as a result of not drinking thus far. [almost a week and a half]

Currently in Rancho Santa Margarita visiting. Having a great time. I always loved this place.
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Thoughts of you ripple through the dew scented night air. One gander at me and you say Hello with money on your breath. Ravenous dogs, each starving for attention. I'm lighting her cigarette while starving for you. The axe always swings both ways. What began as a papercut is now an open wound. I'm beating the stitches on the way to my flesh. Is it any wonder now why I find it hard to heal? Every drop of blood tells me it costs so much more to feel...
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